Authenticity, Vulnerability, Peace, Etc.
John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
This semester has been a rough one for my house. There have been break-ups, surgeries, and silent internal battles amongst my four roommates. As a result, some of my closest friendships have become far more distant than I would ever hope. Although this distance isn’t caused by direct conflict with me, it has still been difficult to see the people I love and our friendships struggle. I believe, though, the Lord is continually faithful in using circumstances such as these to further His glory and work them for our good (Romans 8:28).
If I’m being entirely honest and vulnerable, it has been a true struggle for me in my own house this year. I personally have been in a pretty good place emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. However, feeling like a stranger in my deepest friendships at Fox has been quite the challenge this year. This is where the Lord is good. He has used this situation as a continual reminder that He never leaves, fails, nor disappoints. I have challenged myself to be honest with myself and my values. Have I been valuing my friendships more than my relationship with the Lord? Do I trust that He will provide me with a loving community that pours into me and supports me? Am I okay with God when I don’t have that community? Is God enough? These are big questions and thankfully, ones I can answer with full confidence that I am deeply loved by the Lord. A big theme in my life is fallen friendships (for no reason other than their own personal battles) that have led to my deep solitude with the Lord…which all in all, has been hard, but so good. I would NEVER change the relationship and knowledge I have of the Lord’s faithfulness because of these seasons.
So, before I get too wordy, why then did I make this video? Even though my friendships have been tough this year, I fully believe in the power of the Lord’s redemption. I heard a song, had a vision in my head, and knew that I had to create it. For me, this video has numerous meanings. In fact, what it means in my heart I truly believe can’t be expressed in words. But in attempt to explain some: this video is the visual representation of our life in an imperfect world. God made everyone with the need for sleep. We can’t go without it. In fact, I believe that’s why he made us hunger and thirst too. Our basic needs are a reminder of our dependence on Him. Thus, even when it’s difficult, with Him, anyone can get up and face another day. John 16:33 - Peace, Trouble, Overcome. With Jesus, we can have peace in our troubles because He has overcome them.
I am not just saying this to try to connect a “random” project with Art and Christ but I fully took to heart the concept of serving one’s work with this piece. I had no idea how my vision would turn out. I didn’t plan anything beforehand. I picked up my camera and let go of control. I didn’t aim for perfection, rather I aimed for authenticity. I let each moment happen as it happened and I couldn’t be happier with the result. I think if I had an end goal in mind, I wouldn’t have been able to capture the emotion that I wanted.
Here’s the thing…I said I wouldn’t be able to explain what this means to me in my heart and truly I can’t. To you, this might just be a video of someone getting out of bed and doing their morning routine. That’s it. But for others, it may mean more. It may represent the struggle to get out of bed in seasons of deep depression. It may represent that one small step towards victory by getting your feet on the floor. It may represent the moment you decide to put the past behind you and move forward towards the peace God has waiting. I don’t know what it means for you, but I all I know is that it means something. For me, it means a lot. It means that my own friends have endured many struggles yet the Lord has helped them persevere. It means that my God is with me in every single moment of my life. It means that I get to live a life full of peace, freedom, joy, and love regardless of my circumstances.
I am really happy with this work. It’s a reminder that my relationship with the Lord is my own. It is unique. And your relationship with Jesus (present or not) is your own. It is unique. And I will never try to understand it because it was meant for you. And you can never understand mine, because it was meant for me. And because of that, this video can serve as a reminder that, although every human goes through the same process of sleeping and waking up, we each have a unique experience with our Creator that only we can understand. And I had a unique experience in creating this video. And an even different experience while watching this video. And you will also have a unique experience in watching it. And that is wondrous.