Grace and Necessity - Part Three
My Grandmas
Growing up, I was blessed to know and grow up in the same town as both my grandmas. I love them both dearly with all of my heart. However, they are quite opposite in their response to life’s hardships. One of my grandmas had cancer for the majority of my life. She was diagnosed at stage 4 Ovarian cancer. The five-year survival rate for stage 4 Ovarian cancer is 17%. My grandma lived for over 15 years. I know, God truly does still perform miracles. My grandma was the most influential person in my life. While I was in middle school, she had to have her dominant hand amputated, yet still cooked the entire family Thanksgiving dinner by herself. Also, I never once heard a complaint come out of her mouth. I’ve never met a woman so full of love and unconditional regard for others. It was incredible. Her funeral was on my 16th birthday and I wouldn’t have wanted to spend the day celebrating anyone else. My other grandma, on the other hand, has only ever dealt with kidney stones (which I know are also terrible). However, I’ve never met a woman who so desperately wants the Lord to take her home. She is actually still alive today. I love that grandma with all that I am, and think she also has an incredible heart; however, it is evident that my grandmas respond to hardship in very different ways. My one grandma lived her life entirely for others despite her cancer and my other grandma miserably wishes she could be with Jesus already. Why would I tell you such personal stuff?
Well, because it relates to Rowan Williams…
“The irony is that the gift of life is the gift of daily ‘terror’, ‘the terror of being aware of reality in the light of God” (121).
What’s cool is I think both of my grandmas understand this. They both have endured some harsh realities, yet they both understand the gift of God. Although my one grandma doesn’t want to live anymore, she still recognizes that Jesus is near and hasn’t lost sight of that truth. It still makes me wonder, what is the difference between their mindsets? I think it’s just that, their mindset. My one grandma understood sooner than she would have hoped that death was right around the corner. Thus, she chose to spend the rest of her life to love. Whereas, my other grandma chose to selfishly and mundanely wait for the end. My one grandma lived for eternity and my other one is waiting for eternity.
Flannery O’Connor
In pages 117-121 of Grace and Necessity, Williams is addressing Flannery O’Connor’s “grim” work. O’Connor tries to explain that her dark literature is actually a representation of God’s goodness and grace. “A God who fails to generate desperate hunger and confused and uncompromising passion is no God at all” (118). There is a longing and hunger deep in all of our hearts for God. In a sense, the characters in O’Connors work understand that this world is consumed by evil, yet God remains good; thus, death is actually a win. (This, once again, is what I believe both my grandma’s understood).
Here is a video that explains why Flannery O’Connor was such a great Christian author. They talk about how her dark work reveals God’s truth.
Woundedness
I found it interesting that Maritain brought up woundedness on page 120. I actually just preached on Jacob’s wrestling with God that left him wounded. I love that God allows us to understand our dependence on Him. He allows us to be wounded by this world so that we may understand that we are hopeless without Him. Our strength comes only from Him and we always bring us back to that truth. I used to read the words “fear God” in the Bible and not really understand. Fear God? Why would I want to fear Him? He is supposed to be my comfort, my peace, my protection. Well, it is in moments like this that I understand. I understand what it is to be in awe of God’s power and bigness. He leaves us wounded so that we can see His light. My grandmas were wounded so that they can shine His light brighter to those around them. Flannery O’Connors stories are grim so they could show God’s light in the midst of them.
Jacob wrestles with God
In conclusion
Although God never intended for there to be suffering in this world, I am actually ultimately grateful for it. I am grateful for the darkness that helps us understand the light. How can we know how good good is if we have never seen how bad bad can get. There is a lot of “bad” lately. To be honest, sometimes it’s much easier to see. But that’s what makes the good so good. God is SO good, it’s insane. I love it. Thank you Jesus for your unending faithfulness. Thank you for the hunger in our hearts for your goodness.
SOURCES
Williams, Rowan. Grace and Necessity: Reflections on Art and Love. Continuum, 2005.
https://www.healthline.com/health/cancer/ovarian-cancer-outlook
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+32%3A22-32&version=NIV